Celsian's Xangathis is me!
celsian
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Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 2/20/1985
Gender: Male


Interests: Gaming Aim:Celsian
Expertise: Technical Support for the computer industry, Graphic Design, Gaming
Occupation: Student
Industry: Computers (Software)


Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM: Celsian
MSN: xxcelsianxx@hotmail.com
ICQ: 109875787


Member Since: 3/10/2003

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Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Currently Playing
My Immortal
By Evanescence
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- My Immortal

I couldn't think of anything else but writing. I'm here in hopes that writing will calm me down enough to sleep.

I of course can't tell you what's going on. I can't explain the pain, or where it's coming from. I can't even hint. I don't want to hurt anyone... but here I go anyways.

Why did I have to mess up? Why couldn't I acknowledge my problems when it really counted? Today I stand in front of you a new person, a revised edition of what I once was, only it's too late to matter. It's time for them to move on, it's time to find out what they really want. I did my best to show that I care, I did my best to show I'm worthy. I am worthy.  I know I can be the best. I've come so far, done so much. I feel like a young boy who's climbed into a hole. It wasn't until after I climbed down in the hole that I realized the rope I brought along was the tool I needed to get out. Unfortunately I didn't attach it before I fell in. Now I'm sitting in the ditch, knowing full well how I could have saved myself from all this trouble, but now I'm reduced to yelling and clawing in a desperate attempt to gain back what I once had.

Of course the fire department will eventually show up and rescue me, people will laugh at my mistake. My dad will yell at me for rushing into things. My mom will try to make me feel better, but I will rise above it all and realize that I've learned my lesson, and nothing anyone else says or does can affect me.

Listen to me trying to find answers for questions that haven't even been asked. I can't stop crying, I can't stop laughing, I can't stop thinking about this. She's not gone damn it, she's not gone. Evanescence says, there are some things time cannot erase, true, but other things only time can tell. I will just wait it out, the only other choice is one I'm not willing to accept.

You know what, I don't feel any better.


Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Well per the request of Isabel I've been required to update my Xanga so she has something to do. Here it goes. My summer has been a whirl wind so far. Late nights, dancing, getting completely trashed, running over babies, drinking alcohol, smoking pot, getting hardcore wasted, rolling marijuana cigarettes, drinking bebidas de alcoholico, eating shrooms... Yeah that was all a lie. Late nights is about the only in there that's true, (despite the fact that everything after drinking and smoking was a complete repeat, hey, it's taking up space, and Isabel is wasting time, that's an e-prop right there)

Well really though I've been able to spend quality time with friends, visit my old high-school and attend this year's graduation thanks to a very special person in my life. My Mommy. (Another e-prop)

Josh has been down from his new house and I finally got to go up and see it. Quite a place it is. He's got a giant place to keep all the stuff he has... like his bed... and his computer... and... well he doesnt have anything else, but if he DID! His room would definitely be able to handle the job. Just to give you an idea of how large his room is you could probably play hide 'n' go seek in it.... with 10 people. (Aren't you jealous Isabel, I can feel it already, your bitterness swells with every word.)

I've made my usual runs to fry's, what a bunch of corporate foolz. They think they can fool me but I've figured out their system. Nothing but free stuff for me anymore. (p.s. I despise you fry's)

Well I had the pleasure of having my stereo break on the way down from Santa Barbara about 2 months ago and finally replaced it a week or so ago. I have a new pioneer system and it rocks, they have a special "SuperTunnerIIID" technology that allows you to listen to stations as far as L.A. It also plays mp3, wma's, and cd-rw's. Quite a step up from my last unit courtesy of my good friend Marek Zarnow. Some of you may know him as Mareck, or Maireck, but anyone in the know, knows it's Marek, for shareck, and all bout Marek, cause only Marek can keep it so real..... Moving on.

Last weekend Isabel went to Las Vegas, I was sad.

Is anyone still reading? If you have reading problems I feel bad for you son cause I got 99 problems but readin ain't one.

Anyways, my brother seems extremely happy to have me home and I'm just as greatful to have him around. He can get on the nerves sometimes, but we usually get along great. Lately we've been riding our gas scooters around the house and playing tag at the same time. So if you know Robert and I you know we have an endless supply of energy, so can you imagine us on two skooters riding the crap out of the things chasing eachother? We keep this up hardcore for 2-3 hours at a time! Good stuff.

Finally I got a job, Orange Glen hired me on again as a Technician, the work is tough, but the pay is good. No more appications, and no more working for my crazy ass dad.

Well yeah, that concludes the beginning of my summer, I'm really not looking forward to going back to school and I'm doing my best to get the MOST out of each and every day.


Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Celsian you are so hot... OMG!


Sunday, April 11, 2004

WOW, today I can have freeb!rds if I want! 40 Days is UP! Woot WOOT! Lent is killer man. There were so many 2AM nights where I just wanted to walk my butt over there and buy the whole store. Well NOW I CAN! Heheh, homework time! My physic's teacher is a nut! Have a good weekend all and...

HAPPY EASTER!!!


Wednesday, April 07, 2004

That's right, you can't BELIEVE what happened... I posted. Though this is really un-informative and tells my audience nothing about my life, it's something. I'll edit this later ;)



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